歡樂(lè)英語(yǔ)笑話
帶翻譯的英語(yǔ)笑話，讓您開(kāi)心一笑，煩心事就會(huì)溜走了。下面由YJBYS小編送您的幾則英語(yǔ)笑話。
《律師、寶馬和胳膊》
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.
一個(gè)律師打開(kāi)他的寶馬車門，突然一輛汽車駛過(guò)來(lái)把門撞飛了，警察趕到現(xiàn)場(chǎng)，律師正痛苦地抱怨毀壞了他心愛(ài)的寶馬。
“警察同志，看看他們把我的車弄的!!!”律師哀怨地說(shuō)。
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
“你們律師真是物質(zhì)至上，我很不舒服!”警察反駁說(shuō)，“你這么關(guān)心你可惡的寶馬，你可能沒(méi)有注意到你的左胳膊也沒(méi)了。”
律師終于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的勞力士手表在哪兒?”
The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
9月1日， 喬治放學(xué)回到家里。
George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.
“喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎?” 媽媽問(wèn)
I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....
“媽媽，我不喜歡，因?yàn)樗f(shuō)3加3得6, 可后來(lái)又說(shuō)2加4也得6。”
The Fish Net
Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?
“你能告訴我魚網(wǎng)是什么做的嗎，安?” 老師發(fā)問(wèn)道。
A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.
“把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網(wǎng)了。”小女孩回答道。
智力缺陷
"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."
“醫(yī)生，你能不能告訴我，”鮑勃問(wèn)，“對(duì)于一個(gè)看上去很正常的人，你是怎樣判斷出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再?zèng)]有比這容易的了，”醫(yī)生回答，“問(wèn)他一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的問(wèn)題，簡(jiǎn)單到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。”“那要問(wèn)什么樣的問(wèn)題呢?”“嗯，你可以這樣問(wèn)，‘庫(kù)克船長(zhǎng)環(huán)球旅行了三次，但是在其中一次的途中他去世了，是哪一次呢?’”鮑勃想了一會(huì)兒，緊張的回答道，“你就不能問(wèn)另外一個(gè)問(wèn)題嗎?坦率地說(shuō)，我對(duì)歷史了解的不是很多。”
開(kāi)卷考試
On the day of our final exam at my Community College in Santa Maria, Calif., we heard that the bookstore had changed its policy and would buy back our business-management textbooks. Before class, several of us dashed over to the store and sold our books. We were seated and waiting for the test when our professor announced that considering the difficulty of the final, it would be an open-book exam.
我在加利福尼亞的圣瑪麗亞市一所社區(qū)大學(xué)讀書。期末考試那天，聽(tīng)說(shuō)書店在回購(gòu)我們的工商管理課本。考試前，我們幾個(gè)趕忙跑到書店把書賣了，隨后，我們坐在教室里等著考試。這時(shí)候教授宣布：考慮到試題的難度，今天的考試我們決定開(kāi)卷。
機(jī)長(zhǎng)的錄音
This is your captain speaking. On behalf of my crew... I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. If you look down towards the Atlantic Ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it to waving at you. That's me, the copilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recording.
這是你們機(jī)長(zhǎng)的聲音。請(qǐng)?jiān)试S我代表全體工作人員，歡迎你們乘坐英國(guó)航空公司602號(hào)航班從紐約飛往倫敦。我們此時(shí)在大西洋上空35,000英尺的高度。如果你從飛機(jī)的右邊向窗外看去，你將會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)右側(cè)的兩個(gè)引擎都已經(jīng)起火。如果你從左邊往外看，你就會(huì)看到那邊的機(jī)翼已經(jīng)脫落了。如果你俯視下面的大西洋，那么你會(huì)看到一艘黃色的救生筏，上面有三個(gè)人正在朝你揮手。那是我、副駕駛員還有我們的一名女乘務(wù)員。這是一段錄音。
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