兒童英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)精選3則
A preacher is buying a parrot 傳教士買(mǎi)鸚鵡
A preacher is buying a parrot
Are you sure it doesnt scream, yell, or swear? asked the preacher.
Oh absolutely. Its a religious parrot, the storekeeper assures him.
Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lords prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.
Wonderful! says the preacher, but what happens if you pull both strings?
I fall off my perch, you stupid fool! screeched the parrot.
一個(gè)傳教士在買(mǎi)鸚鵡
“你確信它不會(huì)尖叫,大叫或詛咒別人嗎?”傳教士問(wèn)。
“哦,絕對(duì)不會(huì)。它是一只虔誠(chéng)的鸚鵡。”店主保證說(shuō)。
“你看見(jiàn)它腿上的這些細(xì)繩了嗎?當(dāng)你拉動(dòng)右面的這根,它會(huì)背誦天主經(jīng),當(dāng)你拉動(dòng)左面的那根,它會(huì)背誦贊美詩(shī)”
“太棒了!”傳教士說(shuō),“但是如果我同時(shí)拉動(dòng)兩條繩子,會(huì)發(fā)生什么呢?”
“我會(huì)從樹(shù)干上掉下去的`,你這個(gè)笨蛋!”鸚鵡尖聲說(shuō)道。
a neuropathy
Have a neuropathy, I do not know where to get a handful of pistols, he is gone in a little black alley. When suddenly a young man, neuropathy apart from anything else its guns on the ground by pointing to his head. Asked one plus a few zero. Terrified young people, thought for a long time. Answer, equals two. Neuropathy of the killing he did not hesitate. And then get pulled in his arms, said a cold, you know too much ...
有一個(gè)神經(jīng)病,不知道從哪里弄來(lái)了一把手槍?zhuān)咴谝粭l小黑胡同里。突然遇上一個(gè)年輕人,神經(jīng)病二話(huà)不說(shuō)將其按在地上用槍指著他的頭。問(wèn)道,一加一得幾。年輕人嚇壞了,沉思了很久。回答,等于二。神經(jīng)病毫不猶豫的打死了他。然后把搶拽在懷里,冰冷的說(shuō)了一句,你知道的太多了…
沒(méi)把頭發(fā)全剪掉啊
Miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. But this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. While Miles was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him."Hello, Miles," the manager said. "I see that you are having your hair cut in office time.""Yes, sir, I am," admitted Miles calmly. "You see, sir, it grows in office time.""Not all of it," said the manager at once. "Some of it grows in your own time.""Yes, sir, that's quite true." Answered Miles politely, "but I'm not having it all cut off."麥爾斯有時(shí)在上班時(shí)間去理發(fā)館理發(fā),但這是違反辦公室規(guī)定的:職員只能利用自己的時(shí)間理發(fā)。一天,正當(dāng)麥爾斯理發(fā)時(shí),經(jīng)理碰巧也進(jìn)來(lái)理發(fā),而且就坐在他旁邊。“你好,麥爾斯,”經(jīng)理說(shuō)。“我看到你在上班時(shí)間理發(fā)了。”“是的,先生。正是這樣。”麥爾斯平靜地承認(rèn)了?上壬,你看,頭發(fā)是在上班時(shí)間長(zhǎng)的。“不全都是吧,”經(jīng)理立刻說(shuō),“有一些是在你自己的時(shí)間里長(zhǎng)的。”“對(duì)呀,先生,你說(shuō)得很對(duì)。”麥爾斯禮貌地回答說(shuō),“但我并沒(méi)有把頭發(fā)全都剪掉啊。”
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