英語(yǔ)笑話集中營(yíng)2015

　　一場(chǎng)特殊的足球比賽

　　Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream."

　　"Why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher.

　　"Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied Mike.

　　麥克上學(xué)遲到了。他對(duì)布萊克老師說(shuō)：“對(duì)不起，老師，今天早上我遲到了。因?yàn)槲以趬?mèng)里觀看了一場(chǎng)球賽。”

　　“為什么它會(huì)讓你遲到呢?”老師問(wèn)道。

　　“因?yàn)檫@兩個(gè)隊(duì)都沒(méi)有能力獲勝，所以就持續(xù)的時(shí)間長(zhǎng)了。”麥克回答說(shuō)。

　　Reason of Punishment 懲罰的原因

　　One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.

　　The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?

　　The little girl replied, My homework.

　　一天，小女孩從學(xué)�；氐郊依�，對(duì)媽媽說(shuō)：媽媽，今天在學(xué)校里我因?yàn)橐患�我沒(méi)有做的事情而受到懲罰。

　　媽媽激動(dòng)地說(shuō)：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的'老師好好談一談，對(duì)了，你沒(méi)有做過(guò)的那件事是什么?

　　小女孩回答說(shuō)：我的家庭作業(yè)。

　　Boy, Oh Boy 讓人無(wú)奈的孩子

　　When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."

　　As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty . "

　　我五歲的兒子和他的表弟在一起的時(shí)候，總要招來(lái)大亂。一個(gè)星期六，我開(kāi)始抗議了。“好啦，你們兩個(gè)，”我嚴(yán)厲地說(shuō)，“不許叫喊，不許亂拿，不許哭鬧，不許亂敲，不許取笑，不許扯淡，不許弄壞玩具，不許亂抓，不許打架。” 我剛轉(zhuǎn)身要走，就聽(tīng)我兒子說(shuō)：“來(lái)，斯蒂文，我們來(lái)把自己弄臟吧。”

　　A Present 凱特的禮物

　　Kate: Mom, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?

　　Mom: No, Honey, what?

　　Kate: A nice teapot.

　　Mom: But I've got a nice teapot.

　　Kate: No, you haven't. I've just dropped it.

　　凱特：媽媽，你知道我要給你一件什么生日禮物嗎?

　　媽媽：不知道，寶貝，是什么呀?

　　凱特：一把漂亮的茶壺。

　　媽媽：可是我已經(jīng)有一把漂亮的茶壺了呀。

　　凱特：不，你沒(méi)有了。我剛剛把它給摔了。

　　Two Birds 兩只鳥(niǎo)

　　Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

　　Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

　　Teacher: Please tell us.

　　Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

　　老師： 這兒有兩只鳥(niǎo)，一只是麻雀。誰(shuí)能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎?

　　學(xué)生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

　　老師：請(qǐng)說(shuō)說(shuō)看。

　　學(xué)生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。

　　這有多嬌生慣養(yǎng)啊

　　The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled(被寵壞的) . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum(亂發(fā)脾氣) . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.

　　When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.

　　Was school all right? she asked, Did you get along all right? did you cry?

　　Cry? John asked. No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!

　　六歲的約翰嬌生慣養(yǎng)。他的父親知道這一點(diǎn)，可他的祖父母仍然寵著他。這孩子幾乎寸步不離他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是鬧。他第一天上學(xué)才離開(kāi)祖母的懷抱。

　　約翰放學(xué)了，他奶奶在門(mén)口接他并問(wèn)道：學(xué)校怎么樣?你過(guò)的好嗎?哭了沒(méi)有?

　　哭?約翰問(wèn)，不，我沒(méi)哭，可老師哭了。

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