精選3個(gè)英語(yǔ)小笑話

　　班級(jí)、情人和蠢驢

　　Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day, so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: "Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow." A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the "c" in the word "class." The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the "c" erased--calmly walked up and erased the "l" in "lass", looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.

　　湯姆教授打算第二天與他的學(xué)生見(jiàn)面，因此他在黑板上寫(xiě)道：“湯姆教授明天將和大家見(jiàn)面”。一位學(xué)生看到這條通知后，覺(jué)得展示自己幽默感的機(jī)會(huì)來(lái)了，就走上前，將“class”中的“c”擦掉，教授聽(tīng)到笑聲，轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身走回來(lái)，看了看那位學(xué)生，又看看被改動(dòng)過(guò)的通知，不動(dòng)聲色地走上前，把“lass” 中的“l”擦掉，看了看那位目瞪口呆的學(xué)生，教授揚(yáng)長(zhǎng)而去。

　　寫(xiě)給上帝的信

　　A little boy needed $50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $50. When the post office received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the president. The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read: Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C., and, as usual, those turkeys kept $45 in taxes.

　　有個(gè)小男孩非常需要50美元，他為此禱告了數(shù)周但是什么也沒(méi)發(fā)生。后來(lái)，他決定寫(xiě)封信向上帝索要這50美元。郵局接到這封信，想了想覺(jué)得還是應(yīng)該交給總統(tǒng)比較好�？偨y(tǒng)被逗笑了，于是指示秘書(shū)寄給小男孩5美元，因?yàn)樗�覺(jué)得5美元對(duì)于一個(gè)小孩來(lái)講已經(jīng)是不少了。小男孩收到了錢(qián)很高興，給上帝回了一封感謝信，信里寫(xiě)道：尊敬的.上帝，非常感謝你把錢(qián)寄給我。然而，我發(fā)現(xiàn)這些錢(qián)是通過(guò)白宮寄出的，因此，和往常一樣，那幫家伙收了我45美元的稅。

　　交通事故

　　A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ... hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so. He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'

　　有個(gè)人開(kāi)車(chē)行駛在上班的路上，一輛卡車(chē)闖紅燈從側(cè)面撞上了他的車(chē)，當(dāng)時(shí)他就不省人事了。路旁的行人把他從車(chē)?yán)锢�出�?lái)并喚醒他。剛一醒過(guò)來(lái)，他就拼命的掙扎著，最后不得不用了藥物才讓他鎮(zhèn)靜下來(lái)。過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，他平靜了，別人問(wèn)他為什么要這么恐怖的掙扎，他說(shuō)：“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了，當(dāng)我醒過(guò)來(lái)，我發(fā)現(xiàn)我躺在了路邊，前面是一個(gè)巨大的廣告牌上面閃爍著‘殼牌’，但是有個(gè)人擋住了那個(gè)“S”。”

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