精選幽默英語(yǔ)笑話帶翻譯

　　A boy cried to his mother, "All the children make fun of me. They say I have a big head."

　　"Don't listen to them," his mother said, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store to buy twenty pounds of patotoes."

　　"Where is the shopping bag?"

　　"I haven't got one-use your hat."

　　一個(gè)小男孩向他母親哭訴道：“他們都取笑我，說(shuō)我腦袋大。” “別聽(tīng)他們的，”他母親安慰道，“你有一個(gè)很漂亮的腦袋。好啦，別哭了，去商店買十斤土豆來(lái)。”

　　“購(gòu)物袋在哪兒?”

　　“沒(méi)購(gòu)物袋了----就用你的帽子吧。”

　　Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but "never boiled over-just simmered." On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends.

　　Upon his return he exclaimed, "Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women - They're all widows now!

　　弗蘭克叔叔七十八歲了，富有而健康。他是個(gè)終生單身漢。他曾追求過(guò)很多女孩，但“從不過(guò)熱----見(jiàn)好就收”。一天他突發(fā)奇想，決定四處走走，去看看他那些接近一打的舊時(shí)女友。

　　他回來(lái)即嘆道：“噓!謝天謝地幸虧我沒(méi)娶那些女人中的任何一個(gè)。如今她們都成寡婦了!”

　　A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goats' milk was used.

　　She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced. She then asked, "What do you do with your older goats in America?"

　　A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"

　　一群美國(guó)人乘長(zhǎng)途汽車在荷蘭旅游。他們?cè)谝粋�(gè)奶酪場(chǎng)停下來(lái)。一位年輕的導(dǎo)游帶他們參觀了奶酪制作的全過(guò)程，解釋說(shuō)用的是羊奶。 她指給這群人一個(gè)美麗的山坡，山坡上許多羊在吃草。對(duì)這些，她解釋說(shuō)，是放逐草地的老羊，它們已不能再產(chǎn)奶。她然后問(wèn)道：“在美國(guó)你們?cè)鯓犹幚砝涎蚰?”

　　一位活潑的老紳士回答說(shuō)：“他們讓我們乘車旅行!”

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