爆笑簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話幽默網(wǎng)文

　　1、Improvement

　　One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"

　　"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."

　　2、Much Worse

　　Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?

　　Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse. 中文：

　　警察：有人搶你的'手表時(shí)，你為什么不呼救呢?

　　男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。

　　3、The Mean Man's Party

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

　　一個(gè)聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終于決定要請(qǐng)一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說(shuō)：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開(kāi)了后，再用你的腳把門推開(kāi)。”

　　“為什么我要用我的肘和腳呢?”

　　“天哪!” 吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會(huì)空著手來(lái)吧?”

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